10 Steps to Improve Your Self Esteem
1. No-one Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent
One of my favourite quotations is by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. How true this is! For example, if someone tells me I have an ugly nose, I can choose to believe them, take it on board, and be devastated for the rest of my life because I have an ugly nose. Or else, I can tell myself that I don’t have an ugly nose, and completely disregard what they said! The choice is ours – we can choose to accept or reject the opinions of others.
2. Be Your Own Best Friend
When you make mistakes do you tell yourself you are stupid? Negative talk like this only lowers your self-esteem. If your friend did something wrong, would you tell her she was stupid? It’s more likely that you would tell her not to worry, that everyone makes mistakes. So why are we so critical of ourselves, yet forgiving of others? Treat yourself as you would treat your best friend. Cut off that negative self talk and start being kind to yourself.
3. If You’re Not Making Mistakes, You’re Not Learning
Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. It’s important to take risks and try new things. When we try new things, we sometimes make mistakes. By making mistakes we learn, and we do it better next time. Just like learning to write – we weren’t born knowing how to write – we practised, made mistakes, tried again – until we could write! Don’t let the fear of making mistakes stop you from moving forward. It’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
4. Start the Day on a Positive Note
I asked my learners recently, what they did to start their day on a positive note. Here are some ideas:
Start your day on a positive note – do something that makes you feel good!
5. Make a List of Things That You Are Good At
Too often, we compare ourselves with our neighbours, friends and colleagues. There are always people who are better at doing some things than we are. Comparing yourself to others is self-defeating and will only serve to lower your self-esteem.
6. Focus on Your Strengths, Not Your Weaknesses
Make a list of at least ten things that you are good at. Some people find this hard to do – they find it easier to list the things that they aren’t good at. Persevere with your list of things that you are good at. If you run out of ideas, ask your friends and family. Once you have completed your list put it on your mirror, or on the fridge – somewhere where you will see it often.
7. Use Positive Affirmations
Write down positive affirmations like “I love and respect myself”. Think of positive affirmations that fit with you. If you have difficulty finding affirmations, have a look at this site for a list of positive affirmations. Write down your affirmations on a piece of card and carry them you – repeat your affirmations regularly If you catch yourself with negative self talk, stop yourself, and repeat your affirmations. Your subconscious will eventually get this message and you will see an improvement in your self-esteem.
8. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Hanging out with people who put you down and make you feel miserable is asking for trouble! Surround yourself with positive, successful people who will encourage and support you, and make you feel good about yourself. If you surround yourself with happy, successful people, you’re more likely to be happy and successful yourself.
9. Celebrate Your Accomplishments
Too often we focus on our mistakes, and fail to celebrate what we have achieved. Celebrate your accomplishments – both big and small. Put your certificates and trophies on display, be proud of the great meal that you cooked for dinner, of the 5km run that you did this morning.
10. Take action now!
Don’t wait until tomorrow – start treasuring the unique person that you are, and treating yourself accordingly.
The bottom line is – you only get one life – this is not a rehearsal! Live your life the way you want to – go for your goals! Don’t look back on your life and regret what you didn’t do! Push your comfort zone and live your life to the fullest!
Please leave a comment, I’d love to hear what you think.
Other relevant posts: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway